does love repeats

DOES LOVE REPEATS

                                        In everyone’s life there are some romantic memories. Everyone in their adulthood age fell in romantic relationship. During adulthood age both physical and psychological development occurs. The gender difference comes into mind and one feels attraction for an opposite gender. Normally these physical and psychological changes come into effect during the teen ages. It is the period when a person enjoys maximum physical and mental liberty. He hardly thinks about the consequences of his actions and works as he wish and acts as he wants.

                                          In this age, when someone come in the proximity of an opposite gender he feels attraction which is explained by Freud as infatuations. Infatuation is explained as a very strong emotion or feeling for someone of opposite gender when they come frequently in our proximity. But due to these infatuations we fall in love. When someone starts loving someone else, he virtually lives in a different world. Most of the time he thinks about the other person he love and finally he gather courage band speak out his feelings to the person he love. Then if the other person accepts his love and expresses same feelings to him, again a new story in a new world begins.

                                            They spent time with each other. They get engaged in long interpersonal communications and thus intimacy increases between the two persons. They share their feelings and emotions and feel extreme happiness being together. These days become the happiest days of their life. But apart from all these there is another life which is very tough and one has to struggle and has to prove his potential to convince people about his desires and wishes. Then only they can do whatever they want. Apart from this everyone don’t get his love during these days. There may be other reasons also. The person whom one loves, he/she may not have the same feelings for him/her and he/she may refuse his/her proposal. Here starts the problem. When we are in the teen ages, we don’t have patience to think about something carefully. When any such thing happens we feel very bad and depressed. Some students feel very lonely and they forget their studies and feel very sad also. But all such reactions are unnecessary and make bad impact on us. We have to keep in our mind that, we can’t get everything we want and one whom we love may or may not have the same feelings for us.

                                                Apart from all these the language and meaning of love is very different. Love always gives, to everyone involved in it, happiness and pleasure. It is the thing which keeps us happy and motivates us to make all of them happy whom we love. We love someone it does not mean that we will get him/her. In case one fails in love due to any reason, he doesn't need to feel depressed or sad. He/she need to think about his responsibilities for other relations he has, like parents, friends and relatives who also love him and care for him. They don’t want to see him depressed and sad. One needs to be happy for being in love irrespective of the result of such romantic relationship.

                                                  Another fact is that, if a person gives time to himself and remains happy and carries on his work as usual, he will again get the same emotions and feelings for someone else. Again he will feel the infatuations, again he will feel attractions and again he will find the same romantic feeling and love in someone else if he remains happy and positive. Love is not a thing that will come for one person only; it will be there inside us till our end. It will drive us towards happiness and satisfaction in life. It will happen again and again till one finds his correct match. So, let us be happy always and let us love everyone around us and let us not differentiate love in friendship, family and romance etc. Love is the base of all relations we have and we are going to have in future. It is the reason which makes us happy and it is the thing inside us which drives us to make others happy also.

Everyone has a romantic chapter in his book of life. This chapter begins when a person is going through his adulthood ages. In this age one feels strong emotions and feelings for someone of opposite gender when they come frequently in our proximity. It is termed as infatuation by Freud. When one is in love he/she virtually lives in a different world. The days of these love and romance are the most beautiful days of one’s life. Love always creates happiness and good will. But problem occurs when one don’t succeed in getting his love. He feels depressed and sad. But such reactions are unnecessary. Love does mean getting someone. We have to keep in mind that we can’t get everything we love. We need to be happy in such situations also, for being in love irrespective of the result of such love relationship. Because love doesn't end with one person or thing, it repeats in life again and again if a person remains happy and positive. No one can stop us in loving someone silently.

  

   

DESIRE AND DESTINY

DESIRE AND DESTINY

             

                          There is difference in “what we want and what we should”. In some situations we can realize the difference and have to decide what to give more importance.  Whether we will work for what we want or we will work for what we should. Different persons at this juncture take different paths and thus leading us to find the relation and difference between Desire and Destiny.

                A person who works for what he wants is driven by his desire. A person who works as he wants and according to his intuition is heading towards his destiny. There may be connection between desires and destiny. The desires we get may be because of our destiny. From where our desires come and why we get a particular desire and not the other one. If we think in depth we may come to realize that our destiny might have some links with the desires we have or get and that is why our destiny itself giving such desires into our mind and thinking.

                  If this is the case with someone, then there is no problem. He will work as he desires and his honest and strong desires always drive him to work more and more and thus as a whole he gradually move towards his destiny and feels happy and satisfied with his works, efforts and achievements. But here a question arises that is “if all of our desires are driven by our destiny then why we don’t succeed in making all our desires fulfilled? Why we fail in achieving all our desired objectives even we work with full dedication and put our best effort? Why we get disappointment?  Now if we think and analyze, we will find some question that, “is there irregularity between desires and destiny? If at all there is any difference then why the differences are created?

                             Actually all our desires are not from our intuition. All our desires are not pure and all of them don’t come to our mind automatically. Some desires are imbibed by our environment. Some desires are influenced by our greed, lust and attraction for something which we see with others. We find others being happy with those things or at that position and thus we also make a desire to get those things and to reach that position. Here the desire is influenced by social and environmental stimulus that makes an impact on our mind and thinking making us greedy and envious.

                          We develop such desires and then we also work very hard with full dedication to accomplish the desire but when we don’t succeed in fulfilling those desires we feel disappointed. Whenever such situation comes in our life we don’t need to feel disappointed because we did all those hard work and labor to fulfill our desire and for our happiness. We learned many things from these works and also got new experiences. We can guide someone who has same desire. Another reason not to feel disappointed is, “that desire is not our destiny and the desire is not fulfilled doesn’t mean that we don’t have any destiny.” We will again get new desires and those desires will take us to the best suitable position as per our ability and potential. They will lead us towards our destiny. Again we will do hard work, again we will learn new things and again we will get new experiences.

                     Here we need to be honest with ourselves. If we have some desires we must do whatever possible to fulfill that. but before we start we have to decide which path we will choose “what we want?” or “what we should?”. Still if we don’t succeed then no need to lose heart and no need to feel sad. Simply again we have to make introspection and we should let new desires to come into our mind and again the process continues till we don’t fulfill our desire and reach our destiny.

                               “For some persons their desires decide their destiny, and for some other persons their destiny decides their desires and thus deciding their course of life”. So we must be honest to our desires and we must continuously work to fulfill them who know they might be driving us towards our destiny.

      “Sometimes strong and sincere desire can change destiny if the desire is driven by our destiny itself.”

Ø  There are differences in “what we want” and “what we should” and “what we will be”. Sometimes we can feel these differences in real life situations and at that time we have to decide what to choose. These differences make out the relationship and difference between desire and destiny. The persons whose desires are driven by their destiny work hard to fulfill their desire and gradually move towards their destiny. They hardly fail in accomplishing their desires and hardly feel any severe disappointment. Ø  All our desires are not driven by our destiny. Some of our desires are imbibed in our minds by our society and environment. Some of our desires are developed because of greed, lust or attraction. We work very hard, try many ways and put our best efforts but we don’t succeed in achieving these desires and feel disappointed. But we don’t need to feel disappointed as we learned many things from those hard works. Again we have to let our mind to get new desires and again we have to work to fulfill these new desires to reach our destiny.

         

CHANGE

CHANGE

                                                 We as humans are always subjected to social and environmental changes. All the changes that happen around us have a cause behind them and these changes serve as causes for future changes. So we have to cope up with continuous change throughout our life. Although we learn to adapt with changing time and situations by our experience but still in some situations we couldn't adjust and face a lot of problem and difficulties.

                                 We have to keep in our mind that,” change is the only permanent thing in this world”. Even the universe is always changing in its shape and size. According to Albert Einstein,” we will never see the universe in its present form at any time in future” as it is changing continuously. The world we are living in is changing and we are in a process of change and transformation. Our thinking, our beliefs, our aspirations all change with time. We can see the change in the field of science and technology. We can feel change in our society and our social behavior. We can feel change in our likes and dislikes. We can feel change in our behavior an in our basic human instincts.

                                             But what sort of change we are heading towards and what type of change we are making in ourselves. At present we are hardly left with any humanity inside us. Hardly had we got any time to think about the persons around us and about their problems and difficulties. We are only left with a never ending curiosity to improve our lifestyle and our social and economic status. With changing time we humans, once who were very social animals, are becoming unsocial and selfish. There was a time when we loved to be together in large groups as a single unit. We liked to work together, live together and used to help one another in times of difficulty and need. We used to complement and supplement one another in work and ability. The idea of family had broader perceptions. A whole village or settlement where people lived together used to be considered as one family and each one of the village or settlement had personal feelings and emotions for another person of their village or community as if they are from a single family. But today the idea of family is narrowed down to a greater extent.

                          We developed in many fields. Science has answered many of our questions and given reasons for things that were happening with and around us. Technology has improved our living and made our lives comfortable. We have got many things for our entertainment inside our homes and that is why we don’t feel the need of others to talk with for our pass time. Our quest for wealth and status become so stronger that we forgot living. We forgot happiness, we forgot righteousness, and we forgot all our values, ethics and principles.

                        The universe is changing. Our world, our natural environment and nature itself is changing. We learned to adapt ourselves with such changing circumstances. Science and technology helped us to a very large extent in doing so. Today our life is very comfortable as compared with the life of early human civilizations. With expertise in various fields of science and technology, we can understand the reason of changes in our environment and also can prepare ourselves to face any difficulty.

                       But have we ever tried to find the reason behind the changes in our attitudes, our behavior and our basic human feelings.

                      We might not find the universe in its previous forms as predicted by Einstein. But, I hope and believe that we will make a change in our behavior which makes us selfish and lonely. And again we will love live in large groups where our happiness increases manifolds and our sorrows get diluted many times. Again we will become social and leave our selfish behavior. Again we will concern and care for one another and again we will become humans.

         Let this change come in our thinking and behavior as it is very difficult and boring to live (even with all facilities) in this changing world.  

Ø  Change is inevitable. Nothing is permanent in this world. As per Einstein the Universe is rapidly changing and we will not find Universe in its present form at any time in future. Every change happens for some causes and every change serves as causes for future changes. So we as humans are in a process of continuous change. Ø  We find changes in science and technology. We found answers and reasons for  our questions and queries. Science and technology had made our life comfortable but we suffered many changes in our attitudes and behavior. We become selfish day-by-day and liked to be very personal. We only thrived for our personal gains and didn't have any concerns for others. Let us bring a change in our attitude and become social and human.

            

ATTITUDE VS BEHAVIOUR

ATTITUDE VS BEHAVIOUR

                                                                                

                                                           Our behaviors are greatly influenced by our attitudes. What we learn from our society and environment, we use them in our life and behave in similar way in similar situations. We can say that our behaviors are also somewhat controlled by the condition or situation we are working or acting in. we can conclude that behavior is the use and revelation of our attitudes in different social situations, subjected to different social norms and conditions.

                        In general times and in normal cases our behavior is guided by our inherent attitudes and we don’t feel any discomfort in such times and enjoy the particular situation and continue to behave in that way. We all humans have a very fundamental attitude that is we love to stay and continue in the most favorable state and with most favorable company. That is why we feel better when we are with our friends or relatives or with known persons as compared to strangers or new persons. That is why people take time to adapt with and understand new persons. It is called social adaption or cognitive adaption.

                                   In some situations our behaviors divert from our attitude and even become totally opposite. In such cases the social environment or the situation is powerful enough to influence the person to act or behave in a way contradictory to his personal attitude. For example, A person starting from his childhood don’t like spicy food and feel irritated with such food. But during his adulthood days he had a romantic partner and one day she invited him to her home to have a dinner with her parents. The boy went there and found moist of the dishes are spicy and full of chilly. Still he took the dinner with a smile in his face and when asked by his girlfriend about the food items, he said the foods were very delicious even if he didn’t like them. In this case the person’s behavior was totally against his true attitude. Here the person was influenced by the situation and thus acted against his attitude. Though he had a smile in his face but actually he didn’t liked the food and was not comfortable with them. So we can infer from the above discussion that in some situations our behavior diverts from our attitude and in some situations we behave totally opposite to our attitudes. And in such situations we feel uncomfortable as the action or activity we are undergoing is not favorable to our true attitude.

                     Here we get a very strange argument that is, such transition or diversion from our attitude in our social behavior can occur in general times when there is no external pressure on the person concerned. But during extreme conditions, when there pressure on a person, he always rely upon his attitudes to deal with such situation. Under pressure the true attitude of a person comes out and person concerned also consciously or subconsciously act per his inherent attitudes and simply don’t get a chance to think about the situation and make adjustment with his attitude to behave in a more acceptable or effective way. We can increase the pressure on a person in different ways like giving less time to decide or act on a particular problem or issue. Such pressure is called time pressure and under time pressures a normal person bank upon his original attitudes to deal with the situation. That is why in certain psychological tastings “time pressure” is used as an effective tool to bring out the true attitude of a candidate.

                 So it is very important to have a good set of attitudes as in extreme situations we have to bank upon them consciously or subconsciously. Under such conditions we hardly get any time or chance to plan or decide about our further action or behavior.

Ø  Our behaviors are greatly dependent on our attitudes and in normal situations when there is no pressure, we sometimes behave in strange ways diverting from our true attitudes. But under extreme conditions or under pressure we always bank upon our true attitudes as we don’t get any time or chance to decide or plan our further action or behavior under such situations. Ø  So it is very necessary for all of us to inculcate good and strong attitudes so that they will help us in dealing with extreme situations and to work under pressure. A person with good attitudes handles a tough and challenging situation in an effective manner because he has complete faith in his abilities and attitudes.

   

 

ATTITUDE FORMATION

HOW WE ACQUIRED THE ATTITUDES WE POSSESS ?

                                    Attitude formation is a very long and dynamic process. Attitude formation starts right from the birth of a child. Our environment and culture plays a crucial role in forming our attitudes. Attitudes are formed in three ways;      (1) Social and cultural practices.

                                            (2) Social cognitive learning.

                                            (3) Personal experience.

(1) Social and cultural practices:  If a person continuously experiences a particular process or belief, he adopts that as a basic attitude. Continuous teachings also make us to adopt certain trends as attitudes. We see people following   many social norms and we develop a belief that we should do the same and thus inculcate that practice as an attitude.

                      For example, we never seen gods but, we believe in gods and thus believe in worships and make different rituals and fasting. We observe different festivals only because from our childhood we have seen our parents, relatives and people around us doing such things. A child never seen a ghost and never experienced what it is, but feels afraid when told about ghost and takes its food. T his is because from a very early time it is taught and made to believe that there is something like ghost and that is very cruel and furious.

                 The way, we greet others. The way, we show gratitude and respect to our elders and relatives are also acquired from social practices. In our country we show respect to our elders by bowing our head and making namaskar  . In western countries children greet their elders by saying ‘good morning’ or ‘good evening’. So many of the attitudes we posses are acquired through social norms and cultural practices.

(2) Social learning:  Social learning is also a major factor in making our attitudes. Many things we learn from our society directly or indirectly. We observe and obey certain social norms and hence these become our attitudes. For example, we learn how to behave with our teachers, how to behave with elders, how to talk with opposite sex. All these things we learn from our society. We see some persons involving in anti-social activities and getting punished. Thus we make a strong dislike for these activities. We see people making bad remark about smokers and drunkards, thieves and robbers and ergo we develop a strong dislike about these activities. We see people helping each other in work and get the work done easily. We see people working cooperatively to attain a common goal and achieve that in less time. So we inculcate these virtues as attitudes. In such way many of our good as well as bad attitudes are acquired through social learning. Sometimes we ourselves change our attitudes by social learning. It is a very good tool to inculcate good attitudes in a person by making him to live in a good society or environment.

(3) Personal experience:  Attitudes learned through personal experience are the strongest attitudes and very immune to persuasion or change. We inculcate some attitudes by our personal experiences in certain situations. We very strongly rely upon such attitudes and hardly accept any change or  effort of persuasion about these attitudes. We very strongly rely upon our senses and the things we see, hear or feel by our own senses make great impact on us. So we don’t accept a counter argument about these things. For example, a person doesn’t know anything about yoga. Suddenly an unknown person started talking about yoga before him. He told the benefits and importance of yoga in making a healthy body and healthy mind. At first the first person may accept something but will never believe strongly the other’s views about yoga. But if he himself will practice yoga for some days and will experience its benefits then definitely he will develop a very strong belief about the worthiness of yoga and also advise others to practice yoga to maintain good physical as well as mental health.

                       Here in this case the first person developed a liking for yoga by self experience and hence his belief in its effectiveness is very strong. And it is very difficult to convince the person that yoga is not so effective as he himself experienced the benefits of it. Similarly we acquire many attitudes from our personal experiences in different situations and we strongly rely on such attitude and don’t easily accept a counter argument by someone else about these attitudes.